"WASSUP, DOGG? DIS' BE KWANZAA KLOZZ."
I AIN’T GIVIN’ YOU NUTHIN’ FOR X-MAS, OFAY — I BE TAKIN’ YO SHIT WHEN I SLIDE DOWN YO’ CHIMNEY, MUTHAFUCKA!
Dec
21
Soon he began yelling and shoving people, warning revelers: “You all do not throw snowballs at my car.”
WELL, IT SEEMS THAT THE DOUCHEBAG DEPICTED ABOVE GOT PISSED OFF BECAUSE HIS SHINY RED “HUMMER” WAS HIT WITH A SNOWBALL, SO — BEING THE AUTHORITARIAN DIPSHIT HE IS — HE PULLED OUT HIS GUN AND PROCEEDED TO PUSH AROUND AND THREATEN PEOPLE. YEAH — HAPPY FUCKIN’ HOLIDAYS TO YOU “DON’T CALL ME ‘ELGIN’ BAYLOR!”
Dec
21
hardest of the hard-core
- FUN FAMILY FARE FOR THE FUCKIN’ HOLIDAY SEEZIN
Well see here, you sonsabitches — I’m drunk an’ ornery and I don’t give a flippin’ flyin’ (feces-festooned) fuck what y’all do — so lissen’ up, g’dammit! What we have here is an existential, ennui-enfused, ultra-clusterfuck of a psychobilly enuresis meltdown, West Virginee-style, lard-rendrin’ jam-bor-fuckin’-ee. So mount yer eunuch-cycles, throw down yer’ anchovy-flavored X-Lax, and give it up for…
the hardest-workin’ deviate in porn bizness, the late, great (ingrate) (gotta’ masturbate) GG FUCKIN’ ALLIN!!!
Dec
21
NOT MUCH MATERIAL FOR A CAT SCAN, IS THERE?
Dec
08
Jimmy was still a little scared of pot, still not quite expunged of gov’t-church-family-school (teevee public service announcement) propaganda. While now convinced that the occasional, thin reefer couldn’t plausibly hurl one, face-first, through a trapdoor into the bowels of Patton State Hospital (pride of Mentone, anus of San Berdoo), he still harbored — played down, or up, for me, as the situated dictated — the fear that (according to a recent study) LONG-TERM USE OF MARIJUANA HAS BEEN LINKED TO A DECREASE IN THE MOTILITY OF SPERM IN MICE. For my part, I obsessed about the nasty rumors that Jamaicans (at least those already on the cusp of madness) — who smoked five or more bazooka-sized “spliffs” a day for at least three decades — were 23% MORE LIKELY THAN THEIR PEERS TO BE HOSPITALIZED FOR SCHIZOPHRENIA. Nevertheless, when I produced a baggy of seedy Mexican locoweed ($35 an ounce from a buddy and stashed beneath the knobby off-road spare), Jimmy didn’t hesitate to endorse the next activity of our family vacation. Hell, he even rolled the Zig-Zags, all the while saying, “Fire it up, fire it up, fire it up…fire it up, fire it up, fire it up” (repeat 3x con allegre). And we did.
Dec
04
”YO DOGG! DIS’ BE RON ARTEST FO’ HENNUHSEE COG-NAK! DON’ Y’ALL BE MESSIN’ WIT’ DA FOTIES WHEN Y’A'LL CAN DRINK DA’ GOOD SHIT. IT AIN’T JES’ FO’ HAFTIME, MUTHUHFUCKAH! BEFO’ DA’ GAME, AFTUH DA’ GAME — WHENEVER Y’ALL WANTS SUM GOOD SHIT, GO FO’ HENNUHSEE. IT BE AVAI’BLE AT YO’ FAV’RIT LIKKUH STO’!”
Dec
03
WHO GIVES A FLYIN’ FUCK IF SOME FUCKERS “CRASHED” A TAXPAYER-FUNDED, GHETTO-CELEBRITY PARTY AT THE APPEASER-IN-CHIEF’S CONSECRATED “CRIB”? HEY, TRANSPARENCY BOY: WHAT ABOUT REVEALING THE NAMES OF THE “AUTHORIZED” VISITORS? WHAT ARE YOU HIDING, YOU CRYPTO-MOSLEM CYPHER?
Nov
25
http://msn.careerbuilder.com/custom/msn/careeradvice/view…
Rated 09:30am • 0 reviews • careerbuilder.com
The inherent, underlying concept — that of underlings wasting most of their waking hours in offices, being told what to do (for dog shit wages) by various “bosses” — is absurd, at best. The spectre of the groveling worker begging “the boss” for a “raise” (and worse yet, advice on how to best grovel) should make any intelligent man reach for a bottle, a gun or both.
JUST ANOTHER WORTHLESS, CORPORATE-KISSIN’ ARTICLE! FACE THE FUCKIN’ FACTS, FRIENDS — EMPLOYMENT IS SLAVERY! The whole “job/boss/resume/career/hire/fire” thing is a bunch of bull-fuckin-shit. It’s idiocy — just another part of an idiotic system in which illiterate thugs, low-grade morons and sycophantic half-brights rake in huge piles of lucre while many of the brightest and best-educated struggle to keep from joining the ranks of the homeless. My advice: Kill the boss — and while you’re at it, subvert the whole goddamned scene! Let’s be honest: If you must be an “employee,” it’s incumbent upon you to make as much money as you can for as little work as possible. Don’t hand me this vacuous crap about “teamwork” and catering to the “boss” — have some dignity, friend.
MSN Careers – Coping with a Job You Hate – Career Advice…
Rated Nov 16 • 1 review • career planning • careerbuilder.com
IF YOU LIKE CYNICAL VIEWS ON OUR FUCKED UP WORLD, CHECK OUT THIS BLOG. THERE’S NO CHARGE TO READ IT, SO IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT, I’LL GIVE YOU A 100% REFUND.
Nov
25
WHAT A GREAT FUCKIN’ COUNTRY: JUST READ THE ”NEWS”: SOME DOUCHEBAG, IMBECILE, BLACKAMOOR “RAPPER” — P-DILDO OR SOMETHING-OR-OTHER — JUST THREW HIMSELF A MULTI-MILLION BUCK BIRTHDAY PARTY! (Is it any wonder this country elected the ultimate “nothing,” O-BUMMER?)
Nov
23
You know, friends — sometimes we just need a little “jump-start,” if you will, to enhance our lives by adopting healthy habits. Take drinking, for example; you’d think it would come naturally to everyone, yet there are still some folks who don’t know how to do it. They’d like to tie one on big-time, but they’re ashamed to ask for help. Well, there’s a proven system that will get you boozin’ in no time flat. Recommended for people all of all ages — from infants to the super-geriatric — “START DRINKIN’ NOW” can help YOU learn how to imbibe. I know what you’re asking — will it work for me? YES! This fool-proof approach, developed by a world-famous M.D. in Ireland, has helped MILLIONS of alcohol-deprived people – including countless Mormons and Moslems — to discover the wonderful world of drinking. ISN’T IT TIME YOU JOINED THEM?
